- TikTok creator @bernyflow94 went viral after arguing that many men struggle with modern dating primarily because they lack basic conversation skills.
- The creator noted that men often fail to plan dates or show curiosity, treating conversations with women far differently than interactions with their friends.
- Commenters resonated with the video, sharing firsthand experiences of dry texting, unsolicited requests for photos, and an absence of genuine initiative.
A viral relationship video shared on social media is sparking widespread discussion about communication pitfalls in modern romance. Posted by content creator @bernyflow94 on October 13, 2026, the clip delivers direct dating advice aimed at men struggling to find romantic success. Resonating with hundreds of thousands of viewers, the upload accumulated roughly 352,000 views and 75,100 likes shortly after publication, sparking an extensive debate across the platform.
The Core Critique: Inability to Hold an Engaging Conversation
Opening with a direct disclaimer, the creator made it clear that his message might not sit well with every viewer. “I’m going to upset a lot of men by saying this, but it has to be said,”
the TikToker warns viewers. Digging into what he perceives as a central roadblock for men in romantic pursuits, he stated plainly, “A lot of you guys are simply boring, right?”
According to @bernyflow94, this dullness manifests primarily through repetitive, low-effort digital communication. He noted that many men consistently text prospective partners short, uninspired inquiries regarding what they are doing or where they are heading. In other instances, men quickly ask when they will meet or demand that the woman send a photograph right from the outset of the interaction.
The creator called out the frustration men feel when those exchanges taper off, questioning why they expect women to tolerate unengaging interactions. “Can you blame them?”
he asks. He emphasized that failing to organize dates or take initiative directly sabotages dating potential, asserting, “You just don’t know how to talk.”
He further questioned why individuals attempt to pursue romance without first developing the fundamental ability to communicate.
The Double Standard in Daily Communication
Highlighting what he views as a striking contrast, @bernyflow94 pointed out that many men who clam up around romantic interests have no issue engaging in dynamic, lively discussions with their peers. “You have no problem talking to your homeboys, right?”
he pointed out, observing that while men freely share details and stories with friends, they seem to freeze when communicating with women.
To bridge that gap, the creator urged men to strip away the anxiety and treat their prospective partners as equals. “Women are not aliens, okay? They’re human beings just like we are, right?”
He recommended that men shift the focus toward genuine curiosity by inquiring about personal interests, preferences, and passions. “It’s not rocket science,”
he added, reiterating, “Being boring and not knowing how to hold a conversation is not going to get you far.”
Viewers Echo Dating Frustrations in the Comments
The video prompted a wave of responses from viewers who shared their own experiences with lackluster messaging and uninspired courtship. One commenter recalled an unearned display of intimacy before an initial meeting: “‘I wish we were cuddling right now.’ I haven’t even met them in person lol,”
a commenter wrote.
Others touched on generic dialogue when trying to establish common ground. “When you ask what their hobbies are it’s the same thing lol. Gym, work, traveling, sports,”
another person observed. Low-effort messages asking for updates or images also drew strong reactions. “If a man sends me ‘wyd’ I immediately block them … especially asking me to send a picture!! BLOCKED!!!”
a commenter wrote.
Another user recounted an encounter with someone who sent affectionate messages without attempting to arrange a date. “One messaged me, ‘I miss you’ like, yeah? then INVITE ME OUT. Then he said nothing at all,”
they wrote, describing a follow-up interaction: “The next day, ‘hey hunny [sic] how are you? I miss you’. Like???? how??? then come see me? jezz [sic].”
Why This Matters
The reception to @bernyflow94’s video highlights ongoing fatigue surrounding contemporary digital dating culture. With modern interactions increasingly mediated through dating applications and social media messaging, low-effort exchanges such as vague check-ins, repeated acronyms, and passive flirting frequently lead to burnout. The discussion underscores that in an era dominated by rapid, screen-to-screen communication, foundational conversational skills and proactive planning remain critical factors in building authentic romantic connections.
Frequently Asked Questions
Who created the viral dating advice TikTok video?
The video was published by TikTok user @bernyflow94, who regularly shares lifestyle perspectives and advice on the platform.
What was the main advice given in the video?
The creator advised men to treat women as normal human beings, avoid dry and low-effort messages, take initiative by planning actual dates, and ask thoughtful questions about hobbies, likes, and dislikes.
How did the audience respond to the advice?
The post generated substantial engagement, receiving over 352,000 views and tens of thousands of likes. Commenters broadly agreed with the critique, sharing personal anecdotes regarding uninspired texting habits and lack of follow-through from prospective dates.
