- A November 7, 2026 post on Reddit’s r/CasualConversation questioned why adult friendships can feel superficial despite regular social contact.
- The discussion focused on coworkers, gym acquaintances, childhood friends, busy schedules and the difficulty of building deeper relationships in city life.
- Commenters suggested making deliberate time for friendships, starting with one-on-one plans and maintaining connections through frequent small gestures.
Why Adult Friendships Can Feel Superficial
A post shared on Reddit’s r/CasualConversation on November 7, 2026, asked why adult friendships can feel shallow even when people are surrounded by coworkers, acquaintances and longtime friends. The post had received 802 upvotes and 183 comments at the time of publication.
The original poster said they regularly saw and spoke with coworkers but doubted those relationships would continue after a job change. Connections formed at the gym or while going out sometimes resulted in shared activities, yet rarely developed into closer friendships. “It feels so lonely and surface level sometimes,” the poster wrote.
Childhood friendships remained meaningful, according to the poster, although changing interests and limited availability made them harder to maintain. Work reduced opportunities to meet, meaning that a monthly gathering could feel like a successful outcome. The poster described themselves as generally well-adjusted and clarified that they did not consider themselves lonely overall, but wanted more opportunities to build deeper relationships in city life.
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Commenters Debate Whether Busy Schedules Are the Problem
One commenter challenged the idea that crowded schedules necessarily prevented people from making time for friends. “I live alone, I work 9-5, I workout [sic],” the commenter wrote, while also mentioning a weekly hobby, caring for a cat and managing household chores. “[…] and I STILL HAVE TIME to hangout [sic] with my family/boyfriend or dedicate it to a friend who asks me out.”
The commenter argued that friendship often depends on making a deliberate effort rather than simply describing oneself as unavailable. “People who are ‘busy’ just don’t make time for friendships and then everyone complains about being lonely LOL.”
Another commenter recommended starting small by inviting one person to do something and then seeing whether others wanted to join. “I don’t know if this helps, but sometimes I just get one friend to do a thing,” the commenter explained. The approach avoided waiting for an entire group to agree on a date or attend the same activity.
“Usually we have a great time, and decide to do it again or do something new next time,” the commenter wrote. Friends sometimes joined because they did not want to miss future activities. “Or they come because they don’t want to miss out. Or they don’t come and nothing has changed.”
Small Gestures Can Strengthen Longtime Friendships
The same commenter suggested paid workshops or tours as possible group outings, noting that even a disappointing experience could become a shared story. They recalled taking babies to a play park advertised as suitable for them, only to discover that it was not. “Went to get chips, found a different park and sent photos to the friend group of sad babies vs happy babies.”
Another commenter said they changed how they handled friendships after realizing that some close friends did not know how important they were. “I realized later in life that some of my best friends didn’t realize how much I valued them,” the commenter wrote. Although they had made time for friends, they had also divided their attention among many other people.
“It made me sad when I realized they didn’t realize how much I loved them.” The commenter began sending more messages and staying in touch even during busy periods. “Sometimes a 3-minute phone call is better than nothing,” they wrote. Face-to-face meetings also became opportunities to participate in activities together instead of relying only on coffee and conversation.
“And you know what, it actually added up,” the commenter added. “And those relationships are so much richer now, and so is my life.” They said the change required consistent effort over time rather than producing immediate results. “The grass is greenest where you water it, as they say?”
Why This Matters
The Reddit discussion highlights the practical challenge of maintaining adult friendships when work, household responsibilities, hobbies and relationships compete for limited time. The accounts suggest that deeper connections may depend not only on meeting new people, but also on communicating affection, initiating plans and continuing contact through brief interactions.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the accounts described in the thread. The details reflect the original poster’s and commenters’ accounts as shared on r/CasualConversation, and their identities have not been confirmed.
Frequently Asked Questions
What was the Reddit post about?
The November 7, 2026 post asked why adult friendships can feel superficial despite regular contact with coworkers, acquaintances and longtime friends.
What solutions did commenters suggest?
Commenters recommended deliberately making time for friends, beginning with one-on-one plans, organizing shared activities and maintaining contact through small gestures such as messages or short phone calls.
Was the discussion independently verified?
No. The Daily Dot said it could not independently verify the accounts shared in the r/CasualConversation thread.
