A Reddit user’s post detailing their father’s expectation that they financially support the family after graduating college has sparked a significant discussion online, drawing thousands of upvotes and hundreds of comments on the platform.
The thread, posted by user u/Double-Singer-6631 in the r/GirlDinnerDiaries community, has accumulated 4,600 upvotes and 562 comments. The original poster (OP) describes a family dynamic where their father, who has nine children—including a 4-month-old, a 7-year-old, a 12-year-old, and a 16-year-old still living at home—reportedly has no savings and has used a daughter’s credit card for major purchases such as a car.
Older Sibling Precedent and Father’s Retirement Plan
According to the user, their older sister began providing financial assistance to the family several years ago. Following this, the father allegedly began discussing his retirement and his intention to rely on his children for financial support.
The situation came to a head recently when the father addressed the OP directly regarding their impending graduation.
“My dad approached me today and told me that since I finish my undergrad this summer, he’s so excited for me to start working so I can also begin providing for the family like my sister. He said he wants to stop working soon,”
the user wrote in the post.
User Cites Personal Hardship and Lack of Parental Support
The OP states they are currently facing their own financial struggles and health challenges, which they feel their father has disregarded.
“I have no car. I travel so far for my education that I’m physically exhausted, especially because I have an autoimmune disease. My dad has never helped me with anything. I have no money and barely any decent clothes because I’d rather his money go toward the younger kids,”
the post said.
The user closed their post with a direct question to the community:
“Am I wrong for having absolutely no desire to start funding my parents’ lifestyle?”
Confrontation Leads to Resentment
The user described the fallout after they pushed back against the expectation. They recounted their father’s response and their own resulting feelings.
“He said, ‘Wow, so you want me to work until I’m old? Fine then.’ You can’t guilt-trip me like that, dude. You chose to have nine children. I didn’t. Maybe I’ll feel bad about saying all of this later, but right now, I completely resent him.”
Reddit Community Reacts: Support for Boundaries
The vast majority of commenters expressed support for the OP, validating their refusal to act as a retirement plan for their parents. Many questioned the expectation that adult children should bear the financial burden of their parents’ choices regarding family size and savings.
One commenter wrote emphatically:
“You owe that guy nothing. That’s HIS responsibility! Go live your best life.”
Other users echoed the sentiment that the father’s lack of financial planning and decision to have a large family without adequate resources should not constitute an obligation for the children. Several commenters cautioned against romanticizing multigenerational financial arrangements, noting that cohabitation and shared expenses are not realistic or feasible solutions for every family dynamic.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the claims made in the post, which are based solely on the author’s account shared on r/GirlDinnerDiaries.
