A Reddit user revealed that his wife was expected to spend nearly $6,000 on bridesmaid expenses for his brother’s upcoming wedding, sparking a heated debate on the platform. The post, shared by u/Diligent-Farmer5750 on r/aitaweddings, garnered 2,800 upvotes and 950 comments as users weighed in on the financial dispute.
Breakdown of Bridesmaid Costs
According to the poster, his future sister-in-law Lizzie grew up wealthy and holds different expectations around wedding spending. Lizzie invited his wife to serve as a bridesmaid, but the required attire alone carried a steep price tag.
“The dresses alone cost almost 3k,”
he wrote, explaining that the bridesmaids were expected to wear white dresses for the ceremony and pink cocktail dresses for the reception. On top of that, a bachelorette party in Mexico would add another $3,000, and a bridal shower at a historic mansion carried an unspecified cost.
Couple Declines Due to Financial Strain
The couple, still paying off student loans, determined they could not afford the expenses. The poster said the situation was straining his wife’s relationship with Lizzie, who would soon become family. He ultimately decided they would not pay for the dresses or the bachelorette party and informed his brother and Lizzie that they were stepping down from the wedding party.
Lizzie responded apologetically, according to his account:
“She said she had only been a bridesmaid once and thought that was a normal cost. Then she took out her phone and without me asking venomed me the cost of both dresses, the bachelorette, and an extra thousand for the bridal shower. She seemed really apologetic,”
he wrote.
Wife Reacts With Anger and Embarrassment
The resolution did not sit well with his wife. When she learned what had happened, she accused him of humiliating her and creating a dynamic where Lizzie would view them as poor. She also felt pressured to remain in the wedding despite no longer wanting to participate.
“She said I humiliated her and now Lizzie is going to think we are poor, and she now feels she is stuck being in the wedding despite not wanting to. She called Lizzie an exhausting princess and called me a ‘simp.’ I’m just confused as I felt I did the right thing to prevent Lizzie and my brother from jumping to conclusions,”
the poster shared.
Reddit Community Divided on Judgment
Commenters offered conflicting verdicts. Some argued the poster should have consulted his wife before making a unilateral decision that affected both of them, particularly given her concern about how the family would perceive their finances.
Others issued an ESH ruling — short for “everyone sucks here” — suggesting both the poster and his wife share responsibility for the fallout.
A third camp defended Lizzie, emphasizing that she immediately covered the costs after learning of the couple’s financial constraints.
“If Lizzie got upset about it and kicked her out that’d be one thing. But she understood and handled it. Thats very nice and shows she values your wife as a future family member,”
one user wrote.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the events described in the Reddit post, which are based solely on u/Diligent-Farmer5750’s account.
