Key Highlights:
- An r/AskReddit post shared on Oct. 21, 2026, asked married men for one lesson for men considering marriage; it had more than 4,500 upvotes and 4,500 comments at publication.
- Commenters emphasized adapting together as partners change, discussing finances, children, religion, and shared values, and allowing household traditions to evolve.
- One commenter who said his wife died of cancer at 38 described missing her habit of leaving doors open and urged others not to dismiss small annoyances.
What the AskReddit Thread Asked
A post shared to r/AskReddit on Oct. 21, 2026, asked married men to identify one thing they believed unmarried men should know before getting married. The thread had more than 4,500 upvotes and 4,500 comments at the time of publication, reflecting considerable interest in the question. The original post asked:
“Married men, what’s one thing unmarried men should know before getting married?”
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The featured replies offered several different lessons rather than a single formula for a successful marriage. Some addressed the practical demands of building a family, while others focused on communication, shared values and the need to accommodate change. One response went beyond general advice by describing how the loss of a spouse changed the meaning of an everyday complaint.
New Parents Can Test Even a Strong Marriage
One commenter described a difficult period in a long marriage. “I have been happily married for 20+ years now,” they wrote. They added “with complete honesty” that “the times that our marriage was stretched to the brink was when we brought each of our kids home from the hospital.”
The account identified the arrival of children and the disruption of family life as a major test for the relationship. A mix of “life-upending change, hormones, lack of sleep, no kind of schedule or consistency” can strain even the best relationship in the world, adding “nevermind a foundering one!”.
Comment by u/adisconnected from discussion in AskReddit
Married Couples Must Grow Together
Another commenter focused on how both partners change over the course of a marriage. “You’re going to change,” they wrote. “She’s going to change. Embrace change together, and try to make it a collective growth instead of a divergence.”
The same commenter recommended developing a household culture that can evolve over time rather than relying on fixed rules. “Not hard rules. Just those things that every family does differently.” They added, “Maybe because when it happened the first time it made you laugh, or it helped your Monday’s [sic] go by easier.”
That approach treats family traditions as shared practices rather than permanent standards. The important point, according to the comment, is that both partners should recognize and respond to changes instead of allowing their separate paths to pull them apart.
Important Decisions Should Be Discussed Before Marriage
Another commenter concentrated on the conversations couples should have before getting married. “Make sure your partner is your favorite person,” they wrote. They advised discussing important topics, including finances, children and religion, and making sure the couple has “shared values or can at least respect the other person’s position.” They added, “Kicking the can down the road is just a recipe for problems later on.”
The recommendation was to address major questions directly rather than postpone them. Finances can affect daily life, decisions about children can reshape a relationship, and religion may involve deeply held beliefs. The commenter’s central point was that couples do not need identical views on every issue, but they need shared values or mutual respect for each other’s position.
Comment by u/adisconnected from discussion in AskReddit
Grief Changes the Meaning of Small Habits
One commenter shared the loss of their wife and reflected on the everyday details they now miss. “Lost my Wife to cancer this year at 38,” they wrote. The commenter has two young daughters. “One thing you should know is that when you find the right person it is the greatest thing in the world.”
They then described how a former complaint had become a reminder of their wife’s absence. They wrote, “I use [sic] to complain about my Wife always leaving doors open. Well I now live in a house where all the doors stay closed. Something I thought I wanted.” They added, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
The commenter explained that a partner’s habits may be endearing quirks rather than character flaws. They said, “Trust me when you remove the person you love from doing them you’ll realize how much you miss it.” They ended the comment with a wish: “I’d get married to her all over again […] just so I could walk in my kitchen and see those cabinet doors left open again.”
In this account, leaving cabinet doors open was not presented as a serious marital problem. It was an ordinary habit that now carried emotional weight because the spouse associated with it had died. The commenter’s advice was therefore not that every disagreement should be ignored, but that people should recognize the value of ordinary moments while they still have them.
Limits of the Reported Accounts
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the details described in the comments. The details above reflect the commenters’ accounts as shared on r/AskReddit, and the commenters’ identities have not been confirmed. The discussion therefore documents what individual users posted, not independently established facts about their marriages or bereavement.
Why This Matters
The thread offers practical lessons for couples considering the commitments of marriage: prepare for changing routines, keep family traditions flexible, and discuss finances, children, religion and values before those subjects become sources of conflict. Its strongest themes are about what partners can do together, rather than a static set of rules for an ideal relationship.
The account of the commenter who lost their wife adds an emotional dimension to that advice. It shows how a minor irritation can become a source of grief when the person associated with it is gone. The thread’s reach—more than 4,500 upvotes and 4,500 comments at publication—demonstrates the appeal of the question, while The Daily Dot’s verification limits remain important. These are personal perspectives shared in an online forum, not representative findings about marriage, but they can still prompt couples to consider difficult subjects before marriage and to appreciate the ordinary details of life with a partner.
Frequently Asked Questions
What was the r/AskReddit post asking?
The post, shared on Oct. 21, 2026, asked married men to share one lesson they wished unmarried men knew before getting married. At publication, the thread had more than 4,500 upvotes and 4,500 comments.
What advice did the commenters give?
Commenters advised couples to embrace change together, develop flexible family habits, and discuss finances, children, religion, and shared or mutually respected values before marriage. One commenter also stressed the importance of appreciating a partner’s everyday quirks rather than focusing only on minor annoyances.
Can the commenters’ accounts be independently verified?
No. The Daily Dot said it could not independently verify the details described in the comments, and the commenters’ identities have not been confirmed. Their statements are presented as accounts shared on r/AskReddit.
