- TikTok creator @becominghim47 says dating single mothers can require a different mindset and approach.
- He argues that single mothers are not necessarily seeking a stepfather for their children and may keep dating separate from parenting.
- Comments from single mothers supported setting firm boundaries around when a new partner meets their children.
TikTok creator explains why dating single mothers may require a different approach
TikTok user @becominghim47, who goes by BecomingHim on the platform, is sharing his perspective on dating single mothers and why they may approach relationships differently from women without children. In his video, he outlines two points he believes people should understand before pursuing a relationship with a single mother.
At the time of publication, the video had received 627,100 views and 2,660 comments. BecomingHim says viewers should not assume that single mothers are looking for someone to immediately take on a stepfather role.
“So stop being scared and just go on the date,” he says.
Why BecomingHim says single mothers may view relationships differently
According to BecomingHim, the first important consideration is that single mothers may approach dating from a different perspective because they are thinking about longer-term consequences and responsibilities.
“When you’re a young single man and super risk-oriented, you see things a lot more transactionally. They’re working on an entirely different timeline. They’re thinking long term. They’re thinking in the term of everything that they do. They’re thinking about it in term of investing. While you’re thinking about things as transactionally, they’re not processing, oh, I see boy, I see father. That’s the way that you see things. That’s not the way that these women see that,” he says.
His second point is that single mothers may have higher standards when deciding who to allow into their lives because their decisions can also affect their children. BecomingHim emphasizes that going on a date does not automatically mean someone will become involved in a child’s life.
“You’re not just gonna walk in and go on a date and all of a sudden become a stepdad. They have much higher standards because they have an entire human to think about and you being around that human, maybe at some point, the prospect of it. ‘Cause most of them don’t even want you to meet their kids early on. And you’re gonna have to earn that. But most of them are not trying to do that,” he says.
Single mothers respond to the discussion about dating boundaries
Several commenters who identified themselves as single mothers agreed with BecomingHim’s perspective, particularly his point that dating and parenting may remain separate during the early stages of a relationship.
“It’s weird to me how some guys can’t figure out how dating for us works. It’s pretty simple. Date me and please don’t meet my kids. They don’t need to know you and I want to go out to dinner without them,” one commenter wrote.
“Cuz no one is gonna meet my son unless we’ve been in a committed relationship with a label for over a year,” another user said.
Another commenter praised BecomingHim for recognizing the boundaries some single mothers may want to maintain while dating.
“As a divorced single mom, 10/10 to whoever raised you!! Couldn’t have said it better,” the user wrote.
Why This Matters
Introducing a new partner to children can be a significant decision, especially when the children already have an involved father and their parents are divorced. For some single parents, waiting before making that introduction is an important boundary that helps keep dating decisions separate from a child’s home and family life.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the opinions shared by TikTok creator @becominghim47, which are based on his personal perspective about dating single mothers in the video.
Frequently Asked Questions
What did BecomingHim say about dating single mothers?
BecomingHim said single mothers may think about relationships on a longer-term timeline and may have higher standards because they must consider how a potential partner could affect their children.
Do single mothers necessarily want a new partner to become a stepfather?
No. BecomingHim said single mothers are not necessarily looking for someone to become a stepfather, and that going on a date does not automatically lead to involvement with their children.
When might a new partner meet the children?
The commenters described different boundaries. One said no one would meet her son until she had been in a committed, labeled relationship for more than a year, while another said she preferred dating without introducing a partner to her children.
