Key Highlights:
- Reddit users debated which behaviors are genuine relationship red flags and which are normal aspects of being human.
- Several commenters defended staying friends with former partners when the previous relationship was healthy and “truly over.”
- Users also discussed family estrangement, friendships with people of another sex, and the role of social media in shaping dating expectations.
Reddit Users Debate What Really Counts as a Relationship Red Flag
A Reddit discussion has prompted users to reconsider behaviors commonly labeled as relationship red flags. The conversation began when u/TargetSuch2060 asked members of r/relationships_advice, a subreddit with more than 190,000 members, to identify conduct that people often criticize despite being normal.
“What’s something people consider a red flag in relationships that you actually think is completely normal?”
The post, shared on Nov. 12, attracted responses from users offering different views on where ordinary relationship behavior ends and genuine warning signs begin.
Social Media and the Expanding Definition of Red Flags
In the post, u/TargetSuch2060 argued that online relationship discussions may have broadened the meaning of the term “red flag” to include almost any imperfection or unconventional personal history.
“I feel like social media has turned almost everything into a red flag these days,”
The original poster added:
“Curious where people draw the line between actual warning signs and just being human.”
The question reflects a recurring debate across social media, where dating advice often encourages people to identify potentially harmful patterns but can also lead to ordinary differences being treated as evidence of incompatibility.
Why Some Reddit Users Defended Friendships With Ex-Partners
One Reddit user said that remaining close friends with an ex-partner is often treated as suspicious, but argued that it can instead demonstrate emotional maturity and relationship skills.
“Being close friends with their ex,”
The commenter continued:
” I actually think it’s more of a green flag; being able to go from a relationship to a friendship while being on good terms requires a lot of trust and good conflict management, and those are good qualities in a partner.”
Two other users agreed, although one emphasized that the circumstances matter. That commenter said they would be comfortable with a partner maintaining contact with an ex when the former relationship had been healthy and was:
“truly over.”
The same user identified a different potential warning sign:
” when all their exes are crazy.”
It was unclear whether the commenter meant that describing every former partner as “crazy” is itself a red flag or that all of the person’s former partners had been toxic.
Another Reddit user shared a personal account supporting the discussion about ex-partners. The commenter wrote:
“Agreed. My first husband claimed all his exes were crazy somehow. I’m pretty sure now he tells tall tales about how awful I am. He always had to be the victim in every situation. My current husband is friendly with several exes and just views them as complete human beings who just didn’t happen to be compatible with him long-term.”
Family Estrangement and Cross-Gender Friendships
Another participant challenged the idea that having a difficult relationship with one’s family should automatically be viewed as a relationship red flag. The user explained that family rejection can be especially common among people who have been marginalized because of their sexuality.
“I’m a lesbian, so it’s actually pretty common for the people I date to have been outcast by their families,”
The commenter added:
“But for hetero relationships, I’d say this is a yellow flag, at worst. There’s a lot of reasons people might have to cut their families off.”
A separate commenter focused on friendships between people of different sexes, arguing that not having friends of the opposite sex could itself raise concerns about how someone views other people.
“As a woman, it shows me they see women as people and aren’t only nice to women they’re attracted to,”
The responses showed that Reddit users weighed context, personal history, and behavior patterns rather than treating any single circumstance as automatically conclusive.
Why This Matters
The discussion highlights the difficulty of separating genuine relationship warning signs from judgments based on incomplete context. Staying friends with an ex, being estranged from family, or maintaining certain friendships can have very different meanings depending on how the relationships ended and how the people involved behave.
The Reddit responses also show how social media dating advice can encourage broad rules while individual commenters argue for a more nuanced approach. The original post did not establish a universal definition of a red flag; instead, it invited users to examine when a potentially concerning behavior may simply reflect ordinary life circumstances.
The Daily Dot could not independently verify the claims in the post, and the identities of the commenters have not been confirmed.
Frequently Asked Questions
What relationship behaviors did Reddit users say may be normal?
Users cited remaining friends with ex-partners, having a strained or distant relationship with family, and maintaining friendships with people of another sex as behaviors that should not automatically be treated as red flags.
Why did some users view friendships with ex-partners positively?
One commenter said that moving from a romantic relationship to a friendship can require trust and effective conflict management, which they considered positive qualities in a partner.
What prompted the Reddit discussion?
u/TargetSuch2060 posted the question in r/relationships_advice on Nov. 12, asking what people consider a red flag even though others may see the behavior as completely normal.
