A 23-year-old woman turned to Reddit’s popular Am I the Asshole forum to ask whether she was wrong for asking two older men to leave her table at a crowded UK pub. The post, submitted by user u/Puzzleheaded_Sir_640, quickly gained traction, earning over 2,400 upvotes and sparking a debate about pub etiquette, personal boundaries, and generational expectations.
The Incident: An Uninvited Table Share
The original poster (OP) explained that she and a friend, both working full-time, had not seen each other in two to three weeks. They visited a busy pub hoping to catch up over food and drinks. Although the venue was crowded, several tables were open when they arrived. They chose a booth-style table that seated four, with the understanding they would move or share if a larger group needed the space.
Shortly after they sat down, two men estimated to be in their seventies or eighties approached and sat down without asking. One placed his coat on the chair opposite the OP, while the other slid into the booth beside her. According to the post, one of the men remarked, “Boy, it’s so busy today.”
The Confrontation
The OP noted that other tables were available, including one that had just opened up behind them. The two women had already placed their food and drink orders. When the man sitting next to the OP mentioned that they were also getting food, his companion reportedly pulled up his coat and said, “Come on, it’s clear they don’t want us here.” The two men then left, and the women continued their meal.
Despite the resolution, the OP remained uncertain, wondering if she had violated an unspoken rule of UK pub etiquette.
Reddit Community Response: Consensus Supports the OP
The vast majority of commenters sided with the woman, emphasizing that basic manners require asking before joining an occupied table.
“It’s basic politeness to ask before joining someone’s table,” one commenter wrote.
Another user pointed out that while table-sharing is normal when a pub is genuinely full, the men should have asked first. Commenters drew a clear distinction between designated communal seating and joining a booth already occupied by another group without permission. Many highlighted that the men chose to sit directly beside the women rather than selecting an open table, which created the uncomfortable dynamic.
Additional Context from the OP
In follow-up comments, the OP clarified several details:
- The pub was a Wetherspoons, a well-known UK chain.
- She was navigating personal difficulties and had hoped for a quiet evening with her friend.
- The booth was right-angled, making her feel confined when one of the men sat next to her.
- She later discovered a section of seating blocked from view from their booth that had plenty of open space, meaning the men had other options.
UK Pub Etiquette: Communal Tables vs. Occupied Booths
The discussion also touched on broader cultural norms. In certain traditional UK pubs—particularly those with communal tables or limited seating—sharing tables can be part of the social atmosphere. However, commenters and etiquette experts agree this does not grant blanket permission to join any occupied table without asking. The distinction hinges on whether the seating is explicitly designated as communal or if a group has already claimed a private booth.
Ultimately, the Reddit community concluded that the OP acted within reasonable bounds. Asking strangers to leave a table they joined uninvited—especially when other seating was available—was viewed not as rudeness, but as enforcing basic social etiquette.
